Fabulous PMD Shipdump
by NaturallyDark
Summary: Do you love Pokemon Mystery Dungeon? Do you like nonsense? Perfect! You'll get both! I will be writing the most insane, pointless, and confusing ships from PMD and dumping them right in here! Most recent ship: Dialga X Palkia
1. WigglytuffXDiglett

**Thank you, FabulousJoJo, for suggesting so many Pokémon Mystery Dungeon ships. They are lovely, well thought-out, and all entirely plausible, meant not to torture me, but to inspire me.**

**Right?**

**This will be my dump for any and all Pokémon Mystery Dungeon shippings that make little to no sense. Additionally, if you enjoy seeing me suffer, feel free to suggest more ridiculous ships. **

**As these do not make any sense, they may not yet have shipping names. The most fabulous reviewers (that means everyone) are allowed to suggest ship names. These names can make sense, be witty, or be confusing as heck and unrelated to anything. Be my guest.**

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><p>A gentle breeze caressed the ground as it swooped by in the hush of the night. Militantly stood Diglett beneath the guild's grate, bathed by the milky moonlight seeping between the bars. Even now, while everyone else slept, he would not allow himself to move from his spot or close his eyes for a moment's rest. If his job was to watch for the shadow of footprints above, he could not afford to do so little as turn his head away.<p>

"Diglett? Why are you still awake?"

Diglett kept his eyes upon the grate, though the warm voice was enough to melt his heart.

"Guildmaster Wigglytuff, I am on guard," he spoke rigidly. "It's my duty to watch it, and identify any footprints. Suppose someone arrived in the night? I need to remain here to ensure that no criminals will enter."

The melodic laughter of his Guildmaster reached his ears and he felt his face heat like the interior of a torkoal. He sensed the Pokémon walking over to him and coming within the distance of a single, calculated step.

"Silly friend! It's the middle of the night, and the gate is down! No Pokémon can get in anymore!"

The warmth trickled through Diglett's entire body like a rivulet of water. Giving the grate one final, lasting gaze, he closed his eyes and turned about to face the rose-coloured Pokémon.

"I'm sorry, Guildmaster," he whispered, "I should have known better. I am unfit to be a sentry for this guild!"

Diglett could feel Wigglytuff's stare boring into his skull and tears gathered behind his eyelids like water pushing up against a dam. Any moment now would be shattered by Wigglytuff's voice telling him to leave and never return, or that he was ashamed of him.

"What for, silly?" Wigglytuff spoke as if Diglett had done nothing more than blink at him, with the cheerfulness of a small child. "You're a great sentry, especially if you're trying to stay up at night to guard the guild! I suggest you get some sleep, though, so you'll be well-rested for tomorrow!"

A single tear crept out from behind Diglett's lids and it snaked down his face. Forcefully, he opened his eyes to gaze up at his Guildmaster. The mere sight of him set butterfrees loose in his stomach and he felt as though he could lift off from the ground. Wigglytuff smiled down at him, like a warm ray of sunlight, then turned and began to walk away, put distance between them again.

"Wait, Guildmaster!" The words burst from Diglett's mouth like a caged skitty. "There is something I must say, before you go!"

For a moment, Wigglytuff paused, as if considering whether or not to listen. But he turned his head back to Diglett, the smile lifting the corners of his mouth again. Diglett's heart leapt up and pounded madly against his chest, but his words could no longer remain trapped.

"Guildmaster, I...I love you! I love you with all of my being!"

There registered no shock on Wigglytuff's face; not a single facial feature moved. So did that mean that he did not care for Diglett as Diglett did him? Or did it mean that he had already anticipated this claim? And that he, too, loved Diglett?

"Diglett..." Wigglytuff whispered sweetly. "I love all of the guild members! You should know that!"

"But...what about me?" Diglett's voice caught in his throat, and he turned away. "No, I never should have admitted my true feelings! I have only made myself into more of a fool!"

While his eyes were closed, and he desperately willed his tears not to come, a paw was laid upon his head. He dared to open an eye, then the other. It was Wigglytuff, who looked at him with more adoration than Diglett could ever muster.

"Yup, you, too!" Wigglytuff giggled again and it rang through like a melody. "You're one of the guild members, aren't you? So that means I love you, too!"

Diglett's heart began to fill with emotion and grew until he could hear in pounding in his mind. "W-Wigglytuff..."

Wigglytuff opened his mouth in a delicate yawn and he began to hop away, appearing almost to glide across the ground. "Well, good night, Diglett! Sleep well, okay?"

"I promise," Diglett replied, feeling tears slide down his cheeks. The only wish he had in life had been fulfilled. Wigglytuff returned his everlasting emotions. The thought lay in his mind and, giving one last look up to the grate who had enabled and allowed such a miracle to happen, also lay down to rest.

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><p><strong>If that didn't make sense, just remember – if you give crap, you get crap.<strong>

**Remember to leave ship suggestions and suggestions for ship names!**


	2. Cosmosshipping (DialgaXPalkia)

**You people surprised me and disgust me. I thought this silly little story would slide under everyone's radars and into unimportance, but you proved me wrong. Thanks to you, I'm now going to end up procrastinating even more in my main story. Yeah, thanks a lot.**

**Anyways, I figured I'd better get this one out of the way. Why do so many people ship these two? They never even meet in the games. Oh, well. Leave a comment with suggestions and I'll try to write them all.**

**I still don't know why I agreed to do this.**

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><p>Dialga sat alone in his tower, staring out of the one, large window. There, frolicking in the fields and surrounded by beautiflies, was the charming and dreamy Palkia. Dialga sighed and batted his eyelashes. He was hopelessly in love with Palkia, but he could never admit it to anyone.<p>

"OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY," he said to himself, then glided away from the window. As he trotted down the hallway, which shook with every step, his elegant blue ball gown swayed from side to side. He bowed gracefully to one of Temporal Tower's maids, a bronzong, and, in doing so, accidentally whacked it on the head with the tip of his pointy princess hat.

"GOOD DAY, BRONZONG," he said respectfully, then bowed and hit it again. Bronzong nodded to him then continued dusting the walls and furniture with a feather duster. Dialga walked through the entire tower until he was outside in open air. He crept through the flower field until he was very near to Palkia. At that current moment, Palkia was serenading some cute little rampardoses and magmortars with his sweet singing voice.

"THE HILLS ARE ALIVE...WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC... WITH SONGS THEY HAVE SUNG FOR A THOUSAND YEARS..."

"THAT'S VERY BEAUTIFUL, PALKIA," Dialga said, coming up from behind Palkia. Palkia turned and stared at him.

"THANK YOU, DIALGA." He pulled out a fan and hid his blushing face behind it. "THAT IS VERY KIND OF YOU TO SAY."

Palkia was wearing a trailing, sequinned pink dress and a sparkling little tiara. On his claws he wore delicate lace gloves. Truly, he was the pinnacle of beauty.

"OH, WHAT ARE WE TO DO, MY DEAR PALKIA?" Dialga spoke. "WE ARE FORBIDDEN TO BE IN LOVE."

"WE SHALL RUN AWAY TOGETHER!" Palkia proclaimed. "AND WE SHALL BE SECRETLY WED BY SUNSET IN A SECRET FOREST SECRETLY!"

"ARE YOU CERTAIN?" Dialga made sure to keep his voice down so nobody heard him. "WHAT IF SOMEONE DISCOVERS US?"

Slowly, Palkia reached out and took Dialga's front legs in his hands. "NOBODY SHALL DISCOVER US! I PROMISE YOU THAT!"

Wobbling on his back feet, Dialga nodded, with a tear rolling down his face. "THEN WE MUST MAKE HASTE! SHOULD SOMEONE DISCOVER US – "

Just then, Dusknoir appeared between them and struck Palkia. A cry escaped from Palkia's mouth and he fell to the ground.

"NO! PALKIA!" bellowed Dialga, reaching out one of his front legs towards him. Dusknoir spun and grasped Dialga's neck seductively.

"Hark! Were you with this princess, plotting schemes together?" he asked softly, giving Dialga a stern stare.

"WE SHALL BE WED, AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!" Dialga sobbed.

"Hark hark hark!" Dusknoir, in fury, opened a dimensional hole and shoved Palkia through it. "Ha! Now you will never again see your beloved Palkia! And I shall be the only one for you now!" With that, he dragged Dialga back to his tower and had him locked away in the pinnacle.

"YOU CANNOT DO THIS, DUSKNOIR!" Dialga roared, thrashing about in his small room.

"I just did," chuckled Dusknoir. "In two days' time, let the wedding bells ring for us!" Laughing, he floated away. Dialga continued rampaging but eventually stopped because his beautiful dress was getting dirt on it. He sat by the window and gazed out, tears trickling down his face.

"OH, PALKIA, WHERE ARE YOU NOW?" he wondered aloud. "I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING JUST TO SEE YOUR SWEET FACE AGAIN."

Night fell upon Temporal Tower, and he eventually lay down on the bed to rest, though he broke it because he was too heavy. He began to dream, and found himself in a flower field, not unlike the one just outside. Then, a being appeared out of the mist. It was pink, blue, and yellow, and looked quite a bit like an overgrown swanna.

"ARE YOU A DUCK?" asked Dialga curiously. The being shook her head and giggled.

"No, I'm far prettier than a duck!" she told him. "My name is Cresselia the Good Fairy, and I have come to grant your wish!"

"MY...WISH?"

"Yes! You want to see Palkia again, correct?" Cresselia pulled out a star-topped wand and waved it around. "Woosh! Woosh!" she cried. Then she put the wand away and smiled pleasantly. "Your wish has been granted! Now...wake up!"

Dialga awoke in his tower room, and immediately stood and looked around.

"MY FAIR MAIDEN...WHERE ARE YOU? I DO NOT SEE YOU HERE!"

He peered out the window and gasped in shock. There was Palkia, sitting in the flower field, twisting a flower crown for himself.

"MY DEAR, MY LOVE!" Dialga called out the window. "I AM COMING FOR YOU!" Then he rammed into the door, causing it to splinter into thousands of tiny pieces. He pounded through the halls gracefully, swinging his tail back and forth in excitement and subsequently destroying many pieces of priceless furniture. Dusknoir appeared in the hallway in front of him, looking very confused.

"Princess Dialga, what are you – gwah!" Dialga had plowed right through him without even noticing him and kept running.

Once he had reached the bottom of Temporal Tower, he literally threw open the grand double-doors at the bottom and rushed into the field. Palkia looked back and gasped.

"OH, DIALGA! YOU HAVE COME BACK FOR ME!" he sobbed, then ran over and embraced him in an awkward-looking hug. "COME, WE MUST LEAVE NOW IF WE ARE TO ESCAPE THE HORRID DUSKNOIR."

So, with feelings of love and adoration swelling within both of them, they held hands in a manner that was very uncomfortable for Dialga and they skipped off towards the sun, which was conveniently setting. And they lived happily ever after.


End file.
